you're kidding
by xxGrimmxx
Summary: what happens when our favorite mass murdering hunk gets sent to angels world well tune in and see.
1. hey fluffy

Red, yellow, green, red, blue blue blue  
Red, purple, green, yellow, orange, red red  
Red, yellow, green, red, blue blue blue  
Red, purple, green, yellow, orange, red red

Blend them up and what do you get?  
Ceries, chartous, and aqua  
Mauve, beige, and ultra marine, and every colour in between  
Hazo ka li ka no cha lum bum

Colour has it's harmony and just like I have said  
Red, yellow, green, red, blue blue blue  
Red, purple.

I sang dancing around my room, you see evidently coming home covered in blood mud and sweat and wearing a sweat-shirt you have never owned in your life your parents or parent find many reasons to ground you for the rest f your miserable life.

"Keep it down!" I heard my sister yell.

"Well you… your fat!" I yelled back I heard her shriek I giggled sitting on my bed, I heard someone stomping up the stairs my door opened, and my dad stepped in he leaned on the door.

"Yes father" I said sweetly batting my eyelashes.

"Im going to be leaving tomorrow morning with Angela and your sister will be on a school trip" he said, I sighed.

"Your not to leave this house unless for school and your other class's, Mr. Remolds will be watching you, the emergency numbers are on the fridge and no phone calls unless you're in danger." He said I slouched.

"Yeah whatever" I said turning to my desk and doodling on the cover of my notebook.

"If you get in any trouble when I get home you'll be worse then grounded" he threatened leaving he slammed the door shut.

"Yes oh great leader of hippos" I said angry I sighed flopping onto my bed.

"I miss you Riddick" I said quietly drifting to sleep.

**Next morning**

I woke up the sun shining in my eyes I looked at the clock it read nine-thirty.

"they'll have left then" I said into my pillow I sat up slipping on my slippers I walked out of my room and down the stairs I quickly stopped, I saw a large German Sheppard sleeping on the couch, slowly scanning I heard the phone ring I didn't move I looked at the dog he was still sleeping soundly I slipped over to the phone.

"Hello" I whispered.

"Kim?" I heard my dad ask on the other end of the line.

"Yeah I have to be quite there's a large behemoth of a dog in here" I whispered I heard him chuckle it made me frown.

"That's Angela's dog fluffy she left him there for you to watch and don't worry he won't hurt you he's afraid of squirrels" my dad said.

"I don't blame him well I got to go dad bye" I said quickly I hung up the phone and walked over to the dog.

"Hey fluffy" I said sighing his eyes opened and he hopped of the couch he sniffed me then licked my hand I smiled.

"Well before I get breakfast we have to change that name how about wolverine" I said not expecting an answer he licked my face I sputtered and walked to the kitchen.

"Well since that's settled will work on the squirrel problem later" I said opening the cabinet, I pulled out some lucky charms and poured them into a bowl grabbing the milk from the fridge I poured it into the bowl and grabbed a spoon I dug in walking over to the couch wolverine fallowed.

"good boy" I said suddenly I heard a thump from upstairs, I jumped as wolverine growled I set down my bowl of lucky charms as I slowly walked up the stairs, I heard noise coming from my room slowly walking in I saw my bathroom door ajar I heard someone moving I picked up a bat and kept a firm hold on it as I walked to the door.

"If anyone's there I have a large and vicious dog and um I know karate and other dangerous words!" I yelled into the bathroom, I heard wolverine growl at something behind me I swung around swinging the bat only for it to be caught I gasped at the person before me.

* * *

Kim: ha ha ok you know the drill if you do it cookies shall rain from the heavens, and the mysterious person shall be revealed in the next chapter. No flames please.


	2. your highness

Kim: ok I won't stall so onward.

* * *

I looked up gasping, I dropped the bat.

"Riddick?" I asked touching his face he hadn't changed one bit.

"Angel?" he questioned I smiled then grinned evilly I pounced on him wrapping my legs around his waist and kissing him full on the mouth I wrapped my arms around his neck as he held me up, I pulled away breathing heavy.

"How I what…wait why were you in my bathroom?" I asked he let me down.

"Not sure" he said I rubbed my forehead, he lifted my chin and looked at my eyes.

"Your different" he said I looked away.

"Yeah well uh I'll explain that later you hungry?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"No" he said I nodded I looked at his clothes and him I hugged his waist and breathed deep, I scrunched my nose.

"You smell awful" I said pushing him away and holding my nose, he scowled.

"I always smell like this" he said.

"Really well either way you need a shower here" I said walking into the bathroom he fallowed I pulled out two towels.

"Ok here are some towels and there should be body wash in there it's the one with the red ok its this one" I said grabbing a bottle that said axe on it I handed it to him.

"Don't take too long, I want a shower to and I hate cold water" I said shutting the door, I rubbed wolverines head and walked down the stairs then it finally hit me.

"Riddick's in my house" I said quietly I smiled squealing.

"Wait wait that means oh no" I said upset.

"If dad comes home and he also has those knives" I said trying to plot a way to get rid of those things I sat on the couch staring off into the distance, I heard the water turn off, quickly after that he came down stairs.

"So what is this place?" he asked I looked at him.

"Oh its earth and the year is 2009" I said he snorted.

"No point in lying" he said I tilted my head to the side.

"Im not lying" I said slightly offended.

"Sure and im the queen of England" he said sitting next to me I stood and curtsied.

"Your highness" I said smiling his smirk dropped.

"also y name is Kim angel is fine it's my nickname anyways and my eyes are brown I never had a shine job ever and don't really plan on it I also have no fighting ability what so ever my hand eye coordination is zero" I said getting everything out if I learned anything from fan fiction keeping things bottled up doesn't turn out well.

"So you lied" he said sounding angry.

"yeah I guess I did but not completely I mean im still me, im just oh forget it" I said sitting next to him and putting my head in my hands, silence passed for a couple minutes before I got bored.

"I told the witch doctor I was in love with you and this is what the witch doctor told me to do" I sang making Riddick look at me oddly.

"What I hate silence" I said crossing my arms he chuckled.

"Still the same huh angel" he stated more then asked.

"yes so you're not angry I mean if you are I understand once my friend lied about liking this guy I liked and it blew up in our faces she was an awful friend anyways" I said gesturing wildly I quickly stopped when I looked at Riddick, I was about to say something when the doorbell rang, I jumped up and opened the door a crack to see Megan.

"Oh Megan hi" I said oddly.

"hey so we still on for this week?" she asked excited I nodded, I could hear Riddick shifting to get over to the door I motioned wildly with my one free hand for him to stay where he was.

"Yeppers but not today because I have my dad's girlfriend's dog and he's sick so you don't really want to see that I mean it's really gross" I said making a face she looked concerned.

"Well than maybe I can help" she said about to push by I jumped in front of her.

"No! I mean no it's fine really he should be fine by tomorrow really well thanks for coming bye" I said quickly closing and locking the door, I sighed sliding down the door Riddick raised an eyebrow.

"That was my friend and I plan to introduce you tomorrow for now just lay low" I said standing I walked into the kitchen Riddick fallowed.

"How many mercs live here?" he asked I snorted.

"No mercs this world is really different from yours there are no weird creatures you're not even supposed to exist" I said he looked at me quizzically, sighing I walked over to him and laid my head on his chest.

"Why is my life so weird?" I asked he rubbed my back.

"You smell really good" I said taking an extremely deep breath making him chuckle, I glared and pulled away and walked away I stopped to think.

"Hmmm maybe I need to" I thought I turned around and smiled seductively at least I hope it was walking over to him I swayed my hips his eyebrow raised as he smirked I circled my arms around his waist.

"you know were all alone" I said looking innocent, his smirk got bigger I began to search around for his skivs I felt them so I began my distraction leaning forward I brushed my lips against his as I slipped out the knives, I put them in my pockets and slipped back.

"Yep all alone" I said walking away quickly leaving him confused I knew he probably noticed but evidently im not a threat, I walked up the stairs and hid the skivs in my bathroom I quickly went back down stairs.

"Ok since you clothing is well your clothing" I said motioning to him I put my hand on my chin in a thinking pose I walked over to him and stood on my tiptoes I read the tag.

"Ok most likely a medium so what size pants do you wear?" I asked stepping back.

"Why don't you check angel?" he asked smartly my mouth fell open.

"Uh no you're going to tell me a kiss is as far as I go" I said crossing my arms he chuckled.

"34 38" he said crossing his own arms I nodded.

"Ok well I better go get you something then so I'll be back in an hour" I said walking away I grabbed my wallet I was about to walk out the door when Riddick fallowed.

"Ok I appreciate you wanting to come but you have to stay" I said in an ordering tone.

"When do you give orders as far as I've seen there's nothing stopping me" he said in an equally demanding tone.

"Well theres this guy oh I'll just show you" I said I grabbed the fast and furious DVD I popped it in and pressed play.

"Watch this till I get back and don't kill anything!" I yelled slipping out the side window I went through my neighbour's yard, getting on the sidewalk I walked down to the consignment shop on the corner I walked in and began my search I looked up to see the most evil being on the planet.

"Jessica" I whispered I quickly slid over to the men's jeans I found two pairs and found that adequate I ran to the t-shirts as I watched her walk around, don't get me wrong she is pretty just dumb and mean, I grabbed a couple tank tops tees and a sweatshirt walking well more like running over to the register the lady at the register rose an eyebrow at my purchases I smiled nervously.

"If it isn't Tim" I high voice said behind me I scrunched my nose in disgust.

"Jessica" I said turning around she sneered I looked behind her.

_Just my luck her posse_

She walked over and picked up one of the t-shirts.

"What are these for definitely not a boyfriend" she said her people laughed.

"Not even any of your business is it" I said yanking the shirt away, I quickly paid.

"Most likely for her imaginary boyfriend" she said her people laughing again I rolled my eyes and walked out the door, I took my route back to the house when I got back the TV was turned off and Riddick was nowhere in sight I sighed.

"Riddick!" I yelled suddenly he was in front of my I held out the clothing, he took it and walked away.

"Men always ungrateful but your not are you wolvie?" I asked the dog rubbing his head he looked at me oddly and fallowed Riddick I scowled.

"Men" I said walking to the kitchen.

* * *

Angel: the end yay next chapter later when I have more thoughts and time, those who rate and message get um an evil hot dog to do their bidding.


	3. thats not a bird its a squirrel

Angel; here we go into the rabbit hole yay.

* * *

"Geese always ungrateful can't even..." I began ranting as I sat down.

"Say thanks" a voice whispered in my ear I fell off my chair looking up I saw Riddick with a smug look on his face I looked him over the jeans fit perfectly and the t-shirt hugged his abs.

"Did I scare you?" he asked tilting his head to the side.

"Maybe…no" I said my voice quivering "I was surprised is all" I stated standing up I bustled around the kitchen, trying to stop shaking from the sudden 'surprise' but failed miserably.

"You are going to drive me insane" I said rubbing my temples.

"I think im going to take a shower" I mumbled walking by him, I walked slowly up the stairs I grabbed some clothes and slipped into the bathroom I turned on the water and quickly washed, turning off the water I wrapped my hair in a towel then took the larger towel and wrapped it around I heard the door creak peeking around I saw Riddick leaning lazily on the door I let out a squeal holding the towel tighter.

"What are you doing get out!" I yelled hiding behind the green shower curtain he chuckled.

"Didn't mean to startle you" he said walking out I narrowed my eyes.

"Didn't mean to startle me my butt" I mumbled I closed and locked the door I slipped into my pyjamas again, walking out the door I sat down at my computer I turned it on my background came up onto the screen I freaked when I saw a picture of a shirtless Riddick I freaked trying to change it.

"Stop closing no I want kittens! Kittens you stupid piece of metal work for me!" I yelled finally changing the background to two playful kittens I sighed in relief opening a window I went to and went to my favourites I began to read one of them.

"So true so true" I said laughing after reading a line in the story.

"Interesting" I heard his voice rumble through my bodie I freaked out and closed the window swivelling around he smirked.

"And what were you reading?" he asked I swallowed and averted my gaze.

"Nothing just stories" I stated nervous.

"Really bout me" he stated my eyes about popped out of my head.

"No! It's about a different Riddick" I said waving my hands around.

"Really?" he asked I knew it wasn't really a question he was trying to make me nervous and it was working.

"Oh look at the time it's time for dinner I always eat at five so" I got up and walked down the stairs I could hear his laughter even from down stairs.

"Stupid hot hunky man… what is he doing to me" I asked myself upset I never like getting close to anyone and he was no exception.

"I actually care gross" I stated grabbing eggs from the fridge I turned on the oven and made scrambled eggs.

"why did I make eggs I hate eggs" I said throwing my hands up in defeat I put them on a plate and walked into the living room I put in the Grinch and sat on the couch turning on the TV I heard Riddick in the kitchen he came out and sat next to me I pressed play I watched Riddick out of the corner of my eye.

"What does the b stand for?" I asked randomly.

"I bet it's for bob no Bernard no wait for Bertha" I burst into a fit of hysterics and fell off the couch, o slowly stopped looking up Riddick's eyebrow was raised.

"Yes Bertha?" I asked giggling he rolled his eyes.

"Ok ok im sorry" I apologized and sat back down.

**1hour 30 min 20seconds **

The movie had finished turning off the TV I stood up and stretched I looked over at Riddick.

"Confused?" I asked amused (angel: lol confused amused) he looked at me.

"Annoyed" he said I nodded.

"Understandable" I replied heading up the stairs, I walked into my room and flopped onto my bed I pulled the covers over my head I was close to sleep when I felt the bed sink and an arm snake around my waist.

"Wait one cotton picking minute here" I said pulling away I rolled onto my side to see him lying quietly.

"Forgot ok there's an empty bedroom down the hall it's got a big picture of a boat in it and those are your sleeping quarters cause they sure aren't with me" I said trying to push him out he didn't budge.

"not sure I think I like it here its comfy" he said situating himself I growled I stood up and hopped over him and onto the floor I glared and walked out he chuckled loudly, I walked sulkily to the empty room and got into the bed it wasn't as comfy as mine as I closed my eyes I realised something.

"Piglets and cheese fried snails he got the better of me" I stated throwing my hands up in frustration, I rolled onto my side and sighed heavily I quickly fell asleep from all the events of the day.

**Next day**

I woke up from my dreamless sleep I rolled over "ahh!" I screamed falling out of the bed I groaned from the floor sitting up.

"This never happens when im in my bed" I complained standing I untangled myself from the mass of blankets, sulking out the door I walked into the kitchen my eyes bulged out of their sockets at what I saw. Riddick was shirtless and doing push ups I felt something wet slide down my face wiping it away furiously I found it to be a line of drool.

"Enjoying your self?" I heard his voice rumble snapping me out of my daze.

"Maybe" I mumbled grabbing a banana I peeled it and quickly left the room.

_Omg he is wow_ I thought sighing, I looked at the clock and almost choked.

"It's almost past seven dang!" I yelled running up the stairs I threw on some clothes that were laying on my floor they consisted of grey skinny jeans a shirt that read 'cheese its milk you chew' I grabbed my shoes and pulled them on while hopping out the door, running down the stairs I grabbed my coat and quickly slipped it on I grabbed my book bag, something grabbed my shoulder.

"Where you headed off to in such a hurry" Riddick asked holding on tight I gulped.

_Still no shirt I really hope my face looks like a tomato._

"School and if I don't go now I'll be late" I said nervously he raised an eyebrow I twitched nervously biting my lip.

"I'll be back later you know where everything is" I said, I gave him a quick kiss and ran out the door peeking back in I looked over at him "and don't kill anything or anyone" I said closing the door quickly I ran to the bus stop. (Angel: sorry if anything is wrong im home learned so I don't know when normal people get up) I got there just in time before they closed the door I hopped in panting, everyone was quiet and looking at me odd I stood.

"Hi" I said waving nervously, they quickly went back to what they were doing I walked down the aisle to the back and saw Megan waving I sat with her, the bus began its journey to the place of torture.

"You ok?" she asked I dropped my mouth open.

"Yeah im fine just rough morning my alarm didn't go off" I said nervous.

"Nope that can't be it your red… oh did you see that cute neighbour? Was he shirtless? You're so lucky" I just sat there quietly.

"Firstly only you think he's cute secondly you're a perv" I said pushing her she giggled.

"So are you" she stated in defence.

"No im not" I said upset.

"Ok describe Riddick without making it pervy" she said crossing her arms.

"Ok he's tall muscular..." I said thinking.

"Muscular you a perv" Megan said cutting me off.

"No that's a description saying I want him in handcuffs and covered in chocolate is pervy" I stated happily.

"Ha you're a perv you said handcuffed and covered in chocolate" she said in triumph my mouth fell open.

"I cannot believe I fell for that" I stated dejected she smirked evilly, we were silent the rest of the way to the school getting off the bus we trudged through the doors and into the halls.

"Why do we have math it's basically pointless , algebra is pointless" I stated annoyed with my math assignments.

"You just don't like it because you don't understand it" Megan said.

"Neither do you turnip" I said smirking in triumph, she nodded in that 'very true' sort of way I smiled pulling out my history book.

"See you later and wish me luck Jessica's in my class" I said cringing as I walked away.

"My hearts with you wombat!" Megan yelled down the hall.

"And mine with yours turnip!" I called back slipping through the door and into the back row of the class I sat down and opened my notebook just as the bell rang the students filed in Jessica being last so she had to sit by me.

_Great a another…what was that?_

A blur flew by the window and it was way too large to be a bird.

"Now class open the book to page fifty" the teacher said as everyone turned to the page I scanned the room, I looked at the ceiling and gasped in anger Riddick hung there out of sight I crossed my arms he smirked at my reaction I began to make hand motions to leave he pretended as if he didn't hear me.

"Miss burling is there a problem?" the teacher asked I looked at him then up Riddick was gone.

"No just a bug" I said swatting around.

"Got it" I said triumphant, I looked back down at my book trying to focus.

"Now napoleon…" I zoned out looking up everyone was paying attention to their books and the teachers back was turned.

"You left me for his?" a voice asked I didn't turn I knew who it was, Jessica turned her head.

"Were you talking to me?" she asked snootily.

"No and to say I have to" I stated she look confused then turned back to her book, peeking around I felt his breath on my neck as he sniffed me I rolled my eyes he bit my neck leaving mark I squealed drawing attention to me.

"Miss burling will you please refrain from making a mockery of my class" the teacher stated I nodded my head vigorously I sighed as they went back to the lesson; I felt breath on my neck once again.

"Little noisy aren't we?" he asked quietly, nipping gently at my neck I pinched my lips together he sucked on my neck I closed my eyes as he licked up my neck and I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to hold in squeal he chuckled into my neck I jumped up.

"That's enough!" I yelled everybody stared at me my cheeks flared red as I sank back into my seat.

"Miss burling this is your last chance one more disturbance and you'll be sent to the principal's office" he said I sighed.

"Mr. Jarigon can I move I don't want to sit next to her anymore" Jessica said eyeing me I rolled my eyes, the teacher nodded his head she quickly moved I sighed.

"You're getting me in trouble" I stated angrily, the class went back to normal.

"Exactly let you hair down…or grow it out" he stated as if he were telling me to be more open minded or something while rubbing his nose into my hair and messaging my neck I bit my lip.

"Riddick please?" I whispered.

"Please what angel?" he asked nipping my ear I growled angrily.

"Please stop" I begged I felt his smirk against my neck.

"See you later then" he said and he was gone I sighed I relief and went back to partial focus of what the teacher was saying, basically running out of class I ran over to my locker and grabbed my math homework, I slammed my locker and made a run for it siding to a stop in front of the door I took my regular seat in the back soon Megan was situated next to me.

"Hey Kim what's that on your… you have a hickey" she almost yelled I clamped my hand over her mouth.

"Be quite and it's not a hickey" I stated pulling my hand off her mouth she smirked.

"Sure and that's not a bird" she stated smartly pointing out the window.

"That's not a bird it's a squirrel" I said she rolled her eyes.

"Either way it's still a hickey… now all I need to find out is where said hickey came from?" she asked crossing her arms.

"From nowhere it's just a thing you know from that pie shop down the street with the little yellow sign that says henrys" I said going off randomly.

"Wait what?" she asked confused I smiled.

"What I don't understand what were we talking about?" I asked scrunching my nose, she scowled.

"No changing the…"

"Alright class pull out your pencils pop quiz" the teacher said cutting her off she scowled; the rest of the class went smoothly no interruptions luckily.

**After class**

"So who was it Jason… Shaun, wait no matt" Megan said getting excited.

"No body it's just a bruise from this thing" I said getting annoyed.

"I don't even date I've only kissed one person" I said pointedly making her smile drop.

"Good point you're a prude" she said I smacked her and ran.

"You're going to get it wombat!" she yelled running after me, I ran into my locker falling backwards, Megan walked over laughing.

"Not funny help me" I said she pulled me up still giggling I smacked her again as we put our books away, walking to gym we changed quickly in the locker room running into the gym I looked around for the gym teacher, I saw the preppy girls giggling I rolled my eyes.

"Wonder what guy is shirtless now, Megan?" I asked staring at her , mouth dropped open she was drooling taking a drink of water I looked to see who she was looking at when I saw I choked on the water and spluttered, I began coughing Megan went into action patting my back.

"Sorry I was distracted" she said as I took a deep breath of air, and then glared at him I marched up to him.

"What do you think you are doing, where's the gym teacher?" I whispered angrily he smirked

"Don't worry" he said smoothly.

"Don't worry im already worried it's too late to not be worried" I whispered trying not to yell; he just smirked and turned to everyone.

"Im Richard Mr. Scott is out sick so I'll be your sub for the day" he said everyone gathered especially the girls I mumbled angrily, looking over his change of outfit he was wearing knee length black shorts grey tee and sunglasses.

"Today you'll do the rope and a volleyball match" he said reading off the roster we gathered by the rope and began.

"Uh Richard" I heard Jessica call I growled.

"Yes?" he asked playing innocent.

"I think my ankles hurt will you look at it?" she said pulling up her shorts leg.

"He can see it well enough you bimbo" I mumbled crossing my arms he handled her ankle she talked giggling every now and again I huffed.

"So that's why" Megan said smirking in triumph I frowned in confusion.

"What do you mean?" I asked she pointed at Riddick.

"What no we no" I said waving my arms in defence she smirked.

"Red face trembling knees you like him, don't blame you he's a hunk of man meat if I ever saw one, kind…" she said thoughtfully.

"No he is not, ok maybe a little but no." I said annoyed with him, I turned to see him and Jessica standing she looked fine, I could tell his eyes were on me it was so irritating.

"Alright today we'll skip the rope go straight to the match since the net it is up." I ran over and grabbed my favourite ball and started passing with Megan, I hit it quickly Megan ducked and rolled I laughed at her face.

"That was cruel" she said throwing the volley-ball at my head, I laughed but was quickly silenced when the whistle blew, running over we were separated into teams, getting ready for the serve I bent down sliding from foot to foot when it came to volleyball I was on top of my game.

_If he wants a show I'll give him one_

The ball flew towards me I passed it for a set, Megan set it to me and I hit it from the back court in one, our team cheered I smirked at Riddick who smirked back slightly impressed.

**Couple hours later**

F is for frolic through all the flowers  
U is for ukulele  
N is for nose-picking, cherry gum and sand licking  
here with my best buddy!

Me and Megan said coming out of the locker room.

"Miss. Burling!" I heard someone call, Riddick motioned me over I rolled my eyes as Megan nudged me and winked walking down the hall, I walked over in fury.

"what rich" I stated crossing my arms he smirked quickly grabbing my hips he kissed me long and hard then pulled away, I growled and pushed away.

"Is that all you wanted because if it is im leaving" I stated clenching my teeth, I heard a large banging noise.

"Oh my gosh" someone gasped I swung around to see Jessica.

"Ow I think im hurt" she said faking it, I sighed and looked at Riddick.

"Richard would you help me?" she asked pouting.

"Yes Richard will you help her?" I asked pouting I have to say my pouting is cuter then hers I don't look like a fish, he growled lightly at me I smirked and gave an innocent look.

"Well got to go that bus won't wait forever" I said running off.

* * *

Angel: you know the drill rate and message or whatever and you get a kangaroo in the color of your choice, or i'll do the hula yay.


	4. kanoodling

"So?" Megan inquired.

"So what, there is no so, it just is my young padwan." I said thoughtfully.

"You know what im talking about, did he kiss you?" she asked I smacked her arm.

"No he did not, besides he's a sub gym teacher you twit." I said almost yelling.

"A hot sub, I mean I would take him sprinkled with, well sprinkles." She stated happily, I rolled my eyes and looked out the window.

_When I get home he is in so much trouble._

Slumping into my chair I scowled, huffing I watched the scenery blur by the window. I wondered how in the world he got to the school.

**At my house**

I stormed through the door, and ran to the back sliding open the door Megan slid through smiling.

"Totally 007" I said smirking, she laughed lugging her bag behind her.

"You know it sista, so games? Poker? Or karaoke?" she asked, I smiled evilly she stepped, back.

"Don't do that you look like you planning something." She said contorting her face, I laughed.

"You'll see, in the mean time I have someone for you to meet." I said as soon as I did wolverine ran over to Megan and jumped up.

"Oh he's so cute hey boy, he's really cute what's his name?" she asked petting wolverine, I smiled.

"Wolverine" I said.

"Oh good wolvie, so this is your friend, he's an animal." She said joking, I smiled nervously.

"You have no idea, but he's not the one I wanted you to meet I'll be right back." I said running up stairs, I heard my shower running then it was quickly shut off; I slowly walked into my room peeking through my bathroom door steam filtered through making my glass's foggy.

"Stupid fluff." I stated yanking them off.

"Where are you?" I asked aloud to myself, shrugging I turned around to see Riddick in nothing but a towel .my jaw dropped, my eyes traveled over his chiseled abs, and sculpted shoulders the last place I looked was his hips they were very prominent.

_Oh his shoulders look so creamy, he's like granite wrapped in silk _I thought but, quickly collected myself.

"There's uh someone downstairs I want you to meet so get dressed…" I began, only to be stopped as I was flung over a shoulder. Squealing he chuckled as I pounded on his back only to get a quick whack in the butt I squealed again.

"Behave" he said in a deep rumbling voice, I meeped as I just watched his backside for the rest of the trip.

"What in the flying weasels?" I heard Megan shout, I felt my face flare red.

"Put me down you oaf" I said as Riddick dropped me onto my butt, I sent him a heated glare.

"Your kanoodling with the sub, you little liar" she said angry I played innocent.

"Well if it makes you feel better he's not the sub" I said smiling nervously.

"What do you mean; he was at the gym today, and said he was the sub." She said confused.

"Well he was a technical sub, but uh Megan Riddick, Riddick Megan" I introduced from the floor; Megan looked confused for a moment before realization dawned on her features.

"Nice to meet you Riddick" she said sweetly, my mouth dropped open again, they shook hands.

"Wait …what…why?" I said in complete confusion.

"You were gone for five hours, you never called me when you got home" she stated as if it were obvious, I rolled my eyes and stood up from the ground.

"Yeah yeah your Sherlock Holmes, know that you've met… Riddick would you please put some clothes on" I begged, the corner of his mouth twitched as if threatening to smile.

"Why does he have to, he looks fine." Megan said.

"You're a perv Megan" I said disgusted.

"It's not like I don't mind it either, but if my neighbours see him in a towel, im in deep snail shells." I said making my point, she nodded in understanding.

"Wait im a perv, you just said this morning you wanted him handcuffed…" I slapped my hand over her mouth before she could finish. Smiling at Riddick who had raised an eyebrow.

"She rambles." I said while she tried to talk through my hand I smiled he just shook his head and walked back upstairs, I uncovered her mouth, big mistake.

"And covered in chocolate!" she yelled I growled and smacked her arm.

"What you do that for?!" I yelled she just laughed, I heard Riddick chuckle from upstairs, I crossed my arms.

"Meanie" I said in a childish tone she giggled.

"ok let's look at this rationally, one you have an amazingly hot guy living with you ,two your all alone well most of the time, three he's hot" she said frantically I smiled.

"Very true" I stated rubbing my chin in thought.

"Just please no kanoodling while im here" she pleaded.

"I don't know you do have some good points" I said she grabbed my arm.

"Please no" she said begging I sighed.

"Fine but only for now" I stated she smiled.

"So … are you ready to face my super awesome skills of karaoke?" she asked.

"Awesome girl you're awful" I said in a 'bring it on' tone she scoffed.

"No way sista" she stated snapping her fingers I smirked.

"Well then bring it on" I said jutting out my hip, and making a motion with my hand.

"Oh it's going to be brought" she said giving some attitude.

**Two hours later**

(Bye bye)  
I don't wanna make it tough  
(Make it tough)  
But I've had enough  
(Bye bye)  
And it ain't no lie  
Bye bye

Don't wanna be a fool for you  
Choose another player in your game for two  
(I don't wanna be a fool)  
But it ain't no lie  
Baby bye bye bye  
(Bye bye)  
Don't really wanna make it tough  
I just wanna tell you that I had enough  
Might sound crazy  
But it ain't no lie  
Bye bye bye  
(Bye bye)

Megan slid onto her knees holding the microphone in the air, I smirked, she had changed into blue shorts and an extra large sweatshirt she was wearing a New York cap. I had changed into spandex shorts and white knee high socks with a men's blue striped dress shirt, with my white tank top underneath.

"Showmanship is a seven loved the ending, your tone worked, very flirty boy type thing going on, and your pout was a ten." I said smirking she smiled.

"Thank you thank you" she stated to an imaginary crowed I giggled.

"Your turn wombat" she told me handing over the mike, I ran up the stairs, and sat at the top.

"Number five" I called down I heard a gasp.

"You don't mean?" she asked in horror.

"Yes I do" I stated happily, I heard the music begin.

There's so many things i like about you, I..

I just don't know where to begin,

I like the way you, look at me with those beautiful eyes,

I like the way you, act all surprised,

I like the way you, sing along,

I like the way you, always get it wrong,

I like the way you, clap your hands,

I like the way you, love to dance,

I stood up and began to do some short belly dance moves, Megan cheered making me laugh at her.

I like the way you, put your hands up in the air,

I like the way you, shake your hair,

I quickly shaked my hair it didn't work to well though considering it's so short.

I like the way you, like to touch,

I like the way you, stare so much,

But most of all....

Yeah..

Most of all....

I jumped onto the banister.

I like the way you move.....

I like the way you move.....

I slid down the banister and landed on my feet, I slid on my socks and into the entry way.

I like the way you, put your hands up in the air,

I like the way you, shake your hair,

I like the way you, like to touch,

I like the way you, stare so much,

But most of all....

Yeah..

Most of all....

I did some twist and turns through the living room jumping from behind the couch I put my hand in the air.

I like the way you move.....

I like the way you move.....

I like the way you, put your hands up in the air,

I like the way you, shake your hair,

I like the way you, like to touch,

I like the way you, stare so much,

But most of all....

Yeah..

Most of all....

I like the way you move!

I sang sliding onto my knees and rocking out on air guitar, Megan clapped.

"bravo you showmanship was a seven ,and singing off tune so I'll have to give you a five ,and the sexy belly dance moves an extra eight points" she said waggling her eyebrows I laughed.

"Ok duet how about la la land" I said looking at the cd case.

"Sure sweety alright poses" she said as the cd was set and ready to go. We did a classic Charlie's angel pose.

I am confident

I spun Megan then dipped her, pulling her back up we started to waltz and swing dance.

But I still have my moments  
Baby, that's just me  
I'm not a supermodel  
I still eat McDonald's  
Baby, that's just me

Well, some may say I need to be afraid  
Of losing everything  
Because of where I  
Had my start and where I made my name  
Well, everything's the same  
In the la-la land machine  
Machine, machine

We spun each other around in circles.

Who said I can't wear my  
Converse with my dress  
Well, baby, that's just me [ah]  
Who says I can't be single  
And have to go out and mingle  
Baby, that's not me

Well, some may say I need to be afraid  
Of losing everything  
'cause of where I  
Had my start and where I made my name  
Well, everything's the same  
In the la-la land...

Tell me, do you feel the way I feel  
'Cause nothing else is real  
In the la-la land machine

Well, some may say I need to be afraid  
Of losing everything  
Because of where I  
Had my start and where I made my name  
Well, everything's the same  
In the la-la land machine

Well, I'm not gonna change  
In the la-la land machine  
Well, I will stay the same  
In the la-la land machine

Machine  
Machine  
I won't change anything in my life  
I won't change anything in my life  
I'm staying myself tonight  
I'm staying myself tonight  
La, la, la, la, la

We both landed on our butts laughing, looking over we saw Riddick leaning on the door frame.

"Didn't know you could dance" he said his lips twitching in mild amusement.

"There are many things dear Riddick you do not know about me" I said waggling my eyebrows he smirked.

"Really?" he asked.

"Really" I replied smiling.

* * *

Angel: flying piglets and moon cheese bobby brown its batman. Any who, rate and message cookies for those who do.


	5. gumdrop fairy

Angel: high ho bunnies away.

* * *

"Ow! my head what happened last night?" I mumble from beside Megan she rolled over I pointed lazily at me.

"You tried to do a one handed cartwheel and landed in the wall" she said as if it were a fact.

"Oh, no wonder that walls dented" I said slipping halfway out of the guest bed.

"Yeah because of you big head" Megan said poking me in the forehead.

"That's because I need room for my brain, the reason your head is big is because you run into walls." I stated while waving a finger at her.

"Ha ha your hilarious, what time is it?" she asked searching for the clock.

"Party time! P.a.r.t why because I gotta" I said wiggling around, causing me to fall onto the floor. She burst into a fit of laughter; I stood looking at the clock I screamed.

"Were late by two hours!" I yelled tripping on the blanket.

"What?!" Megan yelled back, we both scrambled for my room we barged in not even paying attention to Riddick who at that moment was sharpening his shivs. Throwing various clothing out me, and Megan grabbed them, and quickly headed into the two respective bathrooms. Changing, and running out we both looked quite comical im sure it didn't help that Riddick was chuckling at us.

"Oh quit it queue-ball!" Megan yelled hopping while she tried desperately to get her knotted shoe on. I slipped on some sandals running into the bathroom I looked myself over quickly; needless to say I looked like a cupcake. Not that's a bad thing but just weird I had a blue striped long sleeve shirt, pink tank-top with green straps a forest green hat red fingerless gloves, purple skinny jeans with yellow converse and my blue glasses.

"Mmm cupcakes" I said eyeing my outfit, quickly regaining control I ran out of the room, stopping I looked for Riddick.

"Miss me?" his voice rumbled from behind I jumped, spinning around I faced him.

"Maybe… if you're going to the school today at least stay out of sight please" I begged I even went on my knees and held onto his leg, he quirked an eyebrow at my behaviour. Realising what I was doing I let go, standing I brushed myself off nervously, he pulled me in.

"Sure sweetness" he said into my ear causing me to shiver I laughed nervously.

"Thanks, uh well I got to go" I said quickly I pecked him on the cheek and ran, sliding down the banister I saw Megan she looked semi normal, she had a red polka dot vest and green converse, yellow skinny jeans, and a black t-shirt that said 'the only thing to fear is fear itself and spiders' it contrasted with her sandy blonde hair but oddly in a good way.

"So wombat how do we get there?" she asked I sat in silence for a moment.

_Times wasting wait, I got it!_

"I know exactly what to do!" I yelled running to the counter I grabbed a pair of keys, swinging around I ran through the door to the garage Megan quickly fallowed, I stopped making her run into my back.

"No way a crotch-rocket" she gasped out I smirked.

"Yes my father's third toy he has another and a Harley." I said walking over to it getting on I pulled on a helmet, handing her the second one she slipped on I opened the garage door.

"Wait …have you ever driven one of these things?" she asked I shrugged.

"it was a battery powered one when I was five but it's just like riding a bike right" I said starting it up I sped out of the garage and down the street Megan clung to my back.

"if I live through this remind me to kill you!" she yelled.

"What if we die?" I asked yelling to her she pinched me making me swerve slightly.

"Be careful wombat!" she yelled I just laughed at her. We arrived at school I parked the bike and hopped off my legs wobbled lightly from the fading adrenaline.

"That was so awesome!" I yelled Megan glared.

"Yes but was it necessary?" she asked while we jogged up to the school.

"No it was fun" I said.

"Ah the words of bulls eye himself" she said reminiscing. I laughed we stopped by the lockers quickly grabbing our books and parting ways to class, I slipped into English as quietly as possible.

"Miss. Burling!" the teacher yelled.

"Sorry sir, I forgot to set my alarm and I overslept but I got the paper for you" I said handing him my work assignment it was for that day, I walked quickly to the back of the class, and sat down.

"Miss. Burling this is interesting would you read it aloud" my teacher stated more then asked I nodded getting up he handed me the paper.

"uh sir this isn't my paper its just some random stuff I wrote" I said blushing he nodded.

"I know that read" he commanded, so I began to read.

Twinkle twinkle, shining eyes

How I wonder where you are

Up above me you shine

Like a mirror to my lies

Shining brightly through the dark.

**Run run **

**As fast as you can**

**I'll soon catch you im the boogie man.**

**The big bad wolf**

**With these eyes **

**They make you better to see my dear**

When you wish upon these eyes

You will bring your own demise

So run run little red

As fast as you can

Far away from the boogie man.

I finished everybody looked bored, I sighed handing back the paper. Yeah I have to admit it was a weird paper shorter than most, but it was based off of someone. So I really didn't care. Then again Riddick had left it on my bead his part was darker the boogie man part mine was added in light pencil. (angel: I have no idea why his writing is in cursive he just seems like he could write that way, and sorry if it doesn't make sense i really don't understand it either)

* * *

**After school**

We walked through the mall Riddick strolling casually behind, as we chatted about everything.

"So gum-drop fairy where to?" Megan asked spinning around I grabbed her shoulder.

"Please stop your making me dizzy" I said.

"I guess we will start that way sir knight ,and fair maiden of lolly pop valley" I said pointing in a random direction, we walked down the hall looking into the windows, we slowed down, turning I didn't see Riddick.

"Ok well that's easy, onward" I said as we trekked into the first store, which happened to be Victoria secrets, not my favourite but hey I need undergarments.

"How about this?" Megan asked holding up an extremely lacy bra.

"Uh no" I stated grabbing a nude one and heading to the counter.

"Come on just this once be courageous" she said in a begging tone.

"Aren't I always?" I asked looking at her she had her secret weapon out "oh Megan not the puppy dog eyes… fine ok I will" I said putting back the bra I grabbed a green lacy bra and underwear to match, I quickly paid for it then ran out.

"Almost died of asphyxiation from the fumes" I said breathing deeply, Megan giggled as we continued our journey.

"It seems we have lost the body guard" I said simply.

"You know what that means" Megan stated in a sing-song voice, I smirked.

"Chineeeeese!" I yelled making everyone stare at me laughing quietly, I slipped away over to the food court, we ordered some chicken and rice, we sat down and split it between each other.

"So where do you think he went?" Megan asked staring behind me; I had become used to it so I just continued eating, to think the thing behind me would change everything.

* * *

Angel: dun dun dun. To be continued those who rate and message get e stone message from big bad, but no funny business.


	6. odd way to sleep

Angel: well I guess I have kept you in suspense long enough…alright here it is.

* * *

"I would turn around" Megan stated looking nervous; I scrunched my nose and turned around to come nose to nose with a gun. Slowly looking up I saw someone I never thought I would see.

"Toombs?" I asked confused.

"That's right sweetheart" he said smirking, I shook my head.

"Well gumdrops, and melons" I said slowly standing from my seat.

"Turn around slow" he demanded, Megan stood quickly.

"It's alright Meg just go find my big bad wolf" I said twitching my head to the side, she made an oh face, and ran off.

"Friends not very brave huh" he stated I shrugged; he pulled my arms behind my back.

"Hold it right there, put down the gun" we both looked to see a rent- a-cop.

"Stand down buddy, im taking her in, she aided a cereal killer" Toombs said the cop stood down and backed up, Toombs finished putting the cuffs on.

"Alright, we'll take you to your vehicle then through the back, fallow me" he said, tombs yanked me towards the direction the cop went I fallowed silently, when we turned the corner I caught sight of Megan 'where is he?' I mouthed she shrugged, rolling my eyes I would need to get out of this myself.

"So, how did you find me?" I asked bored.

"No talking" he barked to me I shrugged, we turned into an empty dark hall way I smirked, I tripped on the ground making tombs run into me I stood straight.

"Keep it going girl" he growled, I nodded.

"Ok" I whispered I did the first thing that came to mind quickly I elbowed his stomach, then stomped onto his instep, I swung around and head butted him in the nose which wasn't difficult, then I kneed him in the groin. Jumping through my arms, the cuffs were now in front of me I picked up his gun and knocked him out. *click* I slowly turned to see the rent-a-cop with his stun gun, I quirked my head to the side and slowly made my way forward, making shushing noises, I watched his hand squeeze tighter then as soon as he made a movement I grabbed my bag from my side holding it by the plastic handle the tazer hit the front I smirked. Unhooking the strap I dropped the bag and walked towards the cop, he shook.

"Oh calm down" is aid I knocked him quickly in the head, then took a drink of some sort from tombs bag, and poured it on the cop.

"Sorry buddy" I said looking around I saw glowing eyes.

"If you were here the whole time I might have to hurt you." I said standing, I tried to cross my arms in anger only to fail.

"Could I get some help here?" I whined I heard him chuckle.

"Don't know, you look good in cuffs." He said I could tell he was smirking I growled.

"Fine well I can take care of this" I stated turning only to get clobbered.

"I was so worried, but that was awesome… oh oh can we keep him" Megan said bouncing around and pointing at Toombs.

"What is it with you and toombs he's ewe" I said as if to make a point, she pouted as I rolled my eyes.

"We'll see" I stated patting her head.

"Yay!" she yelled jumping up and down, I just groaned picking up a pair of discarded cuffs, looking over to where Riddick was he had disappeared.

"you know for once try to not do that whole, im here now im here thing, it's really annoying." I said putting the cuffs on tombs, I was about to haul him over my shoulder when Riddick came out of nowhere and picked him up.

"Don't do that!" I yelled smacking his arm; I turned to see Megan smiling dreamily.

"Megan?" I asked waving my hand in front of her face.

"No way its lord Vakko!" I yelled again pointing at the wall she squealed.

"Where?" she asked turning, I smiled and tapped her head.

"In that empty space of yours, now let's go" I said continuing down the hall, we made it to the exit I peeked through.

"Looks clear" I said, Megan began to walk out when we heard voices, she jumped back in.

"You said it looked clear" she whispered angrily.

"I said looks clear… whoa total déjà vu" I said peeking out again.

"Ok clear, run" I stated making a break for it we stealthy made it to the car.

"I still can't believe your dad let you barrow this Megan" I stated as she shrugged, we popped the trunk and threw Toombs in. I hopped into the front, as Riddick slid into the back, and Megan got into the driver's seat.

"So your house?" she asked nonchalant, as she pulled out of the mall parking lot, and onto the road.

"Yep we have a basically sound proof basement." I stated relaxing into my seat, Megan got a look on her face,

"I know that look and no me and Riddick we'll watch him, if you did we would be sued." I stated her smile fell.

"Fine" she glumly stated, I turned on the radio to break the silence.

Bad boys, bad boys whatcha want  
Whatcha gonna do when sherrif John Brown  
come for you tell me whatcha gonna do.

Bad boys bad boys  
Watcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do  
when they come for you  
Bad boys, bad boys  
Watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do  
when they come for you

When you were eight  
And you had bad traits  
You go to school and you learn the golden rule  
So why are you acting like a bloody fool  
If you get hot you must get cool

Megan and I burst out laughing.

"That's so right!" Megan yelled through tears.

"No its bad girls, bad girls, watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do, when Toombs comes for you, bad girls bad girls." I sang laughing Megan was trying to breath.

"We should start a band, the umm murderess's" Megan stated as if she had the next big thing.

"And we shall rule the world!" we both yelled laughing until we became reduced to tears at that point we had pulled over, now Riddick was driving, thank heavens. We made it home in one piece, well literally not figuratively.

"so then we shall steal all the candy and eat dibs greasy head!" i yelled slinging my arm over megans shoulder as we exited the garage leaving Riddick to carrie Toombs.

"alright down here" i stated finally becoming serious we walked down the stairs i could hear Riddicks boots clunking behind me.

"OK chains where did you go?" i asked aloud.

"you have chains in your basement?" Megan asked, i nodded "kinky" she finished walking over to a chair and setting it in the center of the room.

"odd" i stated she just shrugged, Riddick set him down as i grabbed the chains, we pulled Toombs arms out to the side, and attached them to some looped hooks on the wall' knowing he wasn't going anywhere we put a cloth over his mouth and walked up stairs, i froze.

"you realize Megan we just kidnapped someone." i stated nervous.

"we did, i am so grounded" she stated, i grabbed her shoulders, and shook her.

"we could go to jail, im to cute for jail, and i guess you are." i stated of handedly she smacked me.

"ok, um you go get..." i began i heard a knock on the door, i walked over and looked through the peep hole.

"megipoo we have visitors the certain good bad guys" i stated she turned pale.

"you cannot be serious" she stated as i slowly unlocked the door.

"wheres riddick?" i asked.

"i don't know" she stated shrugging, i opened the door.

"yes officer" i stated smiling.

"sorry to bother you miss but someone reported a car that, was used in a kidnapping. do you happen to recognize it?" he asked holding up a picture.

"nope not at all" i stated holding my poker face he nodded then made a motion with his hand, the cops behind him ran into my house and began to search i walked over to Megan.

" do you think he left?" i asked knowing Riddick had survival instincts, and if you couldn't run fast enough you would get left behind.

" its hard to say" she said we heard movement from the garage the cops ran out to see toombs trying to start the car the police pointed there guns at him forcing him out, i could hear shuffling in the trunk, i quickly popped it to find Riddick, i raised an eyebrow.

" you alright sir?" the cop asked patting Riddicks shoulder.

" yeah" he mumbled i grabbed his arm.

"well we should get inside" i said walking away the cop nodded.

" alright but don't leave town he was still her with that car so you'll be brought in for questioning later" he said i nodded we went inside, the cops had left taking Toombs with them.

"you planned that didn't you?" i asked , Riddick smirked.

"thought so" i stated sighing i walked over to him and gave him a quick kiss.

"well im going to take a nap" i stated stretching.

"im going to leave my dad is going to kill me" Megan said exasperated, she grabbed her bag and left.

"bye" Megan said waving.

"bye" i replied waving back, i shut the door and sighed, walking toward the couch i felt two arms encircle my waist.

" you know, when you fought it was very sexy" Riddick growled nipping my ear.

" that's nice but im tired." i stated, he sighed into my hair, his grip loosened as soon as it did he picked me up and walked up stairs.

"not now Riddick" i whined wiggling.

"enough" he growled silencing me i sat still in his arms as he opened my bedroom door. he laid me on the bed, and slipped in beside me.

"Riddick, what are you doing?" i questioned my voice quivering.

"sleeping" he stated wrapping his arm around my waist.

"odd way to sleep" i stated before closing my eyes ,and slipping into darkness.

* * *

Angel: short and sweet, what are we going to do with Toombs? Who knows, remember rate and message.


	7. urgent message

Ok I feel awful but this story is going on hiatus until my writers block has gone, and once other plot bunnies have been taken care of.

**Thanks you all for the reviews and support! :)**


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